Mouths On: Super Mario Cereal is an Unbalanced Breakfast

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I think there’s a ton of untapped potential when it comes to cereal mascots and video games. Imagine the insanity of a Capcom Vs. type of fighting starring Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and that Sugar Smacks frog. Or how about a survival horror game that takes place in the Dark Universe of Count Chocula and Franken Berry? Who killed Boo Berry?

But if cereal mascots won’t come to video games then video game mascots must come to cereal. Decades after the Nintendo Cereal System of the late 1980s, Nintendo is back in the breakfast game with Super Mario Cereal. We would’ve gone with “Super Mari’Os” or maybe “Super Mario O’dyssey” since that’s the game being promoted. But whatever you call it, this Nintendo food product is coming December 11th, and we already got to put some of it in our mouths.

Before we even get to the cereal, get a load of this box. First off, isn’t it weird seeing Mario so centered and straight-on? We then get a glimpse of the “mixed berry cereal with marshmallows” itself. To properly represent the Mario #brand, the marshmallows are vaguely shaped like familiar Mario items like yellow question blocks and red and green power mushrooms. Although given their nutritional value, these mushrooms are more likely to shorten your life rather than extend it.

The craziest thing about this box, though, is that it has amiibo functionality just like Nintendo’s toys-to-life line, the last toys-to-life still standing. How ridiculous is it that in 2017 you can scan a Mario cereal box to make things happen in a Mario game? Just hold the box next to the Switch’s NFC (Near Field Cereal) reader while playing Super Mario Odyssey and reap the rewards.

No, you won’t suddenly unlock a cereal box costume for Mario in the Luncheon Kingdom or a new Kellogg’s NYC-style store in New Donk City or a giant marshmallow to capture for dank memes. We’re guessing this was a collaboration between Kellogg’s and Nintendo of America, so asking the Japanese dev team to create whole new assets was probably out of the question. This isn’t like the Mercedes Mario Kart 8 deal.

Scanning the box just gets you coins and a hint for a Power Moon location. But the game does remark on how “delicious” the amiibo is, and we can’t deny the novelty of scanning a dang cereal box. It’s totally in line with the absurd camp quality that makes Super Mario Odyssey so appealing.

Eventually you’ll want to put down the game and actually eat the food. Nintendo even sent along some bowls and stickers to make it look like Cappy was in control of our breakfast. In terms of flavor profile, Super Mario Cereal probably most resembles Lucky Charms. But even the non-marshmallow pieces tasted especially sweet, or maybe my old mouth just isn’t the target kid demographic anymore. In any case, it doesn’t taste like pasta. I hear you all asking, “How does it taste with milk?” But surprising absolutely no one, I hate milk (even smart milk) and don’t drink it with cereal, when I even bother to eat breakfast at all. Just eat fruit.

Super Mario Cereal is just the latest example of Nintendo extending its beloved franchises beyond video games. Wake up and eat your Mario cereal before heading to the Super Mario theme park at Universal and play Super Mario Run on your phone while you wait in line. Then finish off the day with Super Mario Odyssey on your Nintendo Switch. They want to own your entertainment life, Disney-style.

Look out for Super Mario Cereal on your grocery shelves next week. What Nintendo food do you want to eat next? Donkey Kong bananas? Zelda chicken? Wario garlic?

Buy it now!

Super Mario Odyssey
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Nintendo Switch
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